People Who Swear More Actually Make The Best F*cking Friends

I would never have f*cking guessed it. I have no idea how a handful of words in our language became such a taboo, but in my opinion, you can’t beat a good swear. It can be both funny and offensive, used as a shield and a sword, and for many people, swearing is a key character trait. I’m not a big fan of those that swear without any great thought gone into it, I’m talking about guys like Malcolm Tucker;   That is some top notch swearing. But seriously, where did swearing come from and why do we condemn it so much? Well, two people who wanted to answer those questions and more, were Timothy Jay and Kristin Janschewitz, and the published their findings in their report, “The Science of Swearingâ€. They found that swearing has become such a taboo as a result of the stigma our court has associated with it in cases of sexual harassment and discrimination. Although, Jay and Janschewitz don’t actually believe swearing really promotes or produces any negative consequences. And it make come as a surprise to some, but it was women who dominated the most recent frequency count of public swearing. (But that could be simply because there are more women than men, not just that they’re getting cruder). The pair examined over 10,000 cases of public swearing, and in each of those incidences, there was no one event in which swearing escalated into direct violence or harm.  In fact, in most cases, the product of the swearing was positive, in that it was used in a humorous context to make others laugh. And let’s face it, swearing can be f*cking hysterical. Other cases where swearing was used was when somebody experiences pain. Now, I have stubbed my toe around the house and my mum has often told me not to swear because there’s “no need for itâ€. Well mother, you’re wrong, because research has proved that swearing can lower physical pain, as it has a cathartic effect, which allows us to react and recover from pain much easier. Therefore, if your child falls over and grazes his knee, it is okay for him to say, “F*ck, I’ve hurt kneeâ€? Or is swearing a definite don’t for a child? Well, many other people strongly believe that swearing around children is wrong, because it corrupts their behaviour and they’re more likely to grow up into streetwalking thugs. However, sociologists have suggested that there is no proof that any words can cause that sort of harm to a child.   Another positive uses for swearing involve storytelling, social interactions, stress management, and as a damn good replacement for actually having to punch someone in the face. According to Jay and Janschewitz, swear words make up 0.5% of an everyday English speaker’s daily words. In fact, those with “Type A personalities†have been proven to swear the most – meaning the most extroverted amongst us are more likely to curse. So, why is it a good idea to have a good swearing as a friend? Well, Lauren Martin from The Elite Daily compelled this pretty impressive list, which proves exactly why you should all add me on Facebook; “They give it to you damn straight: Who wants things sugarcoated when you can have them on fire? There’s nothing better than hearing something straight up and full of emotion, as opposed to hearing it passive aggressively in pieces over the next month. The best kind of friends are ones who aren’t going to hold back, but always show you their true selves. They don’t water sh*t down: How is it the spice of life if you’re always watering it down? What’s the point in getting excited about something if you can’t adequately express it? Friends who are always willing to beef things up, proclaim their excitement in profanity and off rooftops, make the world a damn better place to live. Why not be outlandish and brash? Why not be f*cking excited about stuff? They’re cool with being the assh*le: If they’re cursing a lot, chances are they’re caring even less. People who introduce F-bombs into the fiber of their very being are usually people who have excluded public opinion from it as well. They are spontaneous, wild and don’t give a damn. They are OK taking a few hits and have armor as thick as their vocabulary. They don’t take things too f*cking seriously: There’s nothing that eases the tension more than a good curse. I mean, if they’re f*cking pissed, at least they’re f*cking something. Things just seem less serious when there’s emotion added to it, less stale when there are a few profanities involved. If you’re going to get yelled at, you want it to be by someone who can add some color to his or her emotion. Besides, if they’re f*cking pissed, it’s probably nothing that can’t be alleviated by a good f*ck. They’ll defend you against any d*ck or c*nt: If you want someone on your side, you want someone with a strong mouth. What good are friends backing you up if they don’t know how to do it properly? They’re always ready with a sharp response and an even sharper tongue. They know how to tell a damn good story: A story is never a good one without a few curses. I mean, what good is a punch line without f*ck? Why call it making love when you could call it f*cking? What’s the point in a story if you’re not going to go there? Good storytellers are also natural cursers. They understand the power of a good F-bomb as much as the extremity of an evil c*nt or a huge d*ck. They know how to place things, where to put them, and they will always f*cking go there. They’re f*cking open: Chances are if they aren’t afraid to drop an F-bomb, they’re also not afraid of other people dropping them. They’re desensitized to language as well as most things this world will throw at them. They’ve got an open heart, mind and mouth.†So, there you have it. Next time you see somebody walking down the street, effin’ and Jeffin’, don’t cross the road to avoid them. Go up to them, call them a d*ckhead, and you’ll be best friends for life. And if you love swearing, !