10 Things You Ought To Know About Dating An Outgoing Introvert

You may not have heard of the outgoing introvert, in fact, it sounds like the ultimate juxtaposition – but the outgoing introverts are a real pocket of society made up of those that fall between introvert and extrovert. I learned this first hand when I started dating one 16 months ago. They’re a convoluted breed but more so, satisfying. Seriously satisfying.

As with every relationship, you learn the behaviours of your other half through time (and a fair amount of patience) and there are certain unique behaviours (diplomatic wording) performed by outgoing introverts that you could do with being prepared for, these 10 especially.

1. They’ll pick and choose when to chat

It’s important not to take it to heart when an outgoing introvert goes quiet on you at random intervals. This is especially true after a long day on their part or stress at work. With introverted cores, they’ll need to take time out to recharge and that’s most effectively achieved alone. Though for you talking to people may seem effortless, the social interactions of their day to day can be tiring and when they’re home, they probably need a break.

2. Don’t let their exuberant charm fool you…

…into thinking they’re extroverted. They can switch on the social charm when needed but prefer to live in their heads and they spend a lot of time thinking…and over-thinking.

3. If they’re in, they’re in

They wont waste their time on those limbo relationships that are just time fillers, if they’re dating you they really do like you. This also makes them really trusting – if they were looking to play away, they’d just end it and be on their merry way with the person they liked better.

4. Prepare for telephone inconsistencies

Sometimes, you’ll find yourself texting them for hours with full-blown paragraphs and emojis galore and the next it’s like they can’t get rid of you quick enough. If I had a penny for every time I asked my other half ‘Are you ok?’ because a text seemed a little blunt, I’d have…at least a couple of quid. The point is, sometimes phones just need to be put away for outgoing introverts so they can focus on whatever else they’re doing.

5. They win at listening

It may be because it’s a nice break for them to not have to talk, or it may be their good intuition but outgoing introverts make the best listeners. You may find yourself talking for hours without ever getting the impression they’re bored or disinterested. Probably because they’re not, they’ll be working you out from everything you’re saying in that deeply-analytical mind of theirs.

6. They can be a bit backwards in coming forwards

The key word here is: chill. They need time to warm up and aren’t likely to outwardly express feelings in the initial months…or year. Though when you do eventually get there, it’s so worth the wait.

7. They have ‘bullshit x-ray’

The keen eye for detail and analytical skills possessed mean they’ll be able to tell the truth from the tales. I googled ‘Who is A?’ after watching Pretty Little Liars the other day and pretended I’d seen a spoiler on Twitter, obviously my lie was foiled in seconds.

8. They can flirt like pros

You’ll never expect it from them but when they get on a sexual roll, they’ll trump your flirting and make it look like child’s play. They’re typically sensitive people so will know the right things to say to make you comfortable or confident.

9. Don’t go fishing…

…for compliments. They’ll not tell you what you want to hear when you want to hear it and wont be forced into ego-boosting situations. They’ll compliment when they want to and that way you’ll know it’s genuine.

10. You’ll never get bored

If it’s not their unexpected charm or their intelligent, thoughtful conversation, it’s their unpredictability. You absolute need to be on your toes if you want to be able to handle dating an outgoing introvert. Complicated but always worth it and the rewards are sweet.

All in all, I’ve dated a variety of personality types but there’s no roller coaster ride as alluring, beguiling and enjoyable as the one taken with the outgoing extrovert. If you’re not sure they’re for you yet, check out these 10 signs that make it clear they’re the one.