Misophonia Is A Real, Awful Thing, And You Just Might Have It

1. Do small sounds like chewing, coughing and slurping drive you batcrackers? Maybe you have Misophonia. It is a real thing.

As in, it’s an actual neurological condition, characterized by “excessively negative and immediate emotional and physiological responses” to certain sounds. This can totally destroy your ability to live like a normal person.

2. Listen to this recording of a woman eating carrots. Does it make you want to die?

3. Is this picture of this smug couple eating pretzels low-key hurting you?

4. So WTF is Misophonia? Misophonia, otherwise known as “selective sound sensitivity syndrome,” is characterized by feeling a deep irritation and anger at certain sounds.

What are those sounds? WELL, according to a 2013 study of 42 people who reported having misophonia, eating sounds, like lip smacking and swallowing; breathing sounds including nostril flaring sounds and sneezing; and annoying office things like typing and pen clicking.

Misophonia can be a serious condition for sufferers, who say they feel anxiety, anger, panic, and rage when they hear their trigger sounds. According to Researchers at the University of California, San Diego, “trigger sounds, compromis[e] their ability to complete everyday tasks and engage in healthy and normal social interactions.”

5. While it’s unclear just how many people suffer with it, those that DO have it know that the struggle is REAL. How do you know you have it? Loud chewing is your sworn enemy.

6. Just food sounds in general make you simultaneously whimper in pain and scream with rage.

7. You have to sit in the aisles at the movies to try to be around less people in case someone is chewing popcorn too loud.

8. Someone whispering in your ear might as well be stabbing your face with a fork.

9. You think popping gum in public should actually be illegal.

10. Actually, chewing gum at all should probably be outlawed, tbh.

11. Like, this is often your inner monologue, for real.

12. You’ve avoided dinner parties where you know a loud chewer will be.

13. In fact, sometimes you just have to leave the room when chewing is involved at all.

14. You have to turn off certain commercials because the sound levels aren’t right.

15. Certain sounds and pitches are just TEW MUCH.

16. Which makes you just wanna break things sometimes.

17. You seriously consider whether you should always live on the top floor because you cannot deal with terrible upstairs neighbor noises.

18. Work can feel like a fucking battleground.

19. Whistling at work? NO.

20. Loud, snorty breathing? NO.

21. People tapping fingernails? Are you a monster sent down from the hellscape?

22. And hey, you, people who don’t turn the sounds off when you’re playing games on your phone, ARE YOU A LITERAL DEMON?

23. How bad is it? Some of us have taken to making v. specific playlists.

24. But! There is some good news. According to a study from Northwestern University, people with sound sensitivity might actually be geniuses.

25. So hold onto that, the next time you hear the constant drip, drip, drip of a distant faucet, or the never-ending tapping of your upstair’s neighbors heels.