16 Really Pointless Things You Learnt At School And Never Used Since

They say your school years are the best of your life as you see your friends everyday, and let’s face it, you don’t really work that hard. Although it was a blast, I often feel it was a total waste of time in terms of life lessons. I don’t recall ever using a Ven diagram or Pythagoras’ theory, my knowledge of long-shore-drift hasn’t come in handy and knowing Hamlet word-for-word is probably only useful to an actor applying for a role at the Globe Theatre. Here are 18 other things you learnt at school and have never used since

1. Countless hours preparing for spelling tests were a total waste of time when spell checker came along – that is of course unless you spell so badly that even spell checker can’t work out what the fuck you mean

2. Turns out Pythagoras’ theory is not essential to adult life…

3. How to do any sort of maths on paper – phones, computers, calculators take care of that for us

4. Writing in cursive – your last exam at school is pretty much the last time you ever write anything on paper

5. Map-reading

6. How to use an encyclopaedia

7. How to draw a circuit diagram, and almost every single other thing you ever learnt in science class

8. What on earth an Oxbow lake is – nobody has ever seen one in real life, it must be a theoretical concept

9. How to make a battery out of a spud

10. My Very Easy Method Just Speeds Up Naming Planets

11. How to write an acrostic

12. How to use WordArt

13. How to wrap a condom on a banana

14. How to appropriately structure and present an argument, we have GIF’s for that now

15. How to predict who we’re going to marry and how many kids we will have

16. How to write profanities on a calculator

Though these 16 skills have long-since been forgotten, school did teach us some valuable life lessons: always side with the strong, never put your hand up when asked a question and it’s uncool to dance at parties. Guess it wasn’t a complete waste of time then…