When You Realize These Things About Food, Eating Will Never Be The Same.

Food is pretty great when you think about it. (Although, you probably shouldn’t think about it non-stop like I do.) Luckily, the Internet has been thinking of food since its inception and has you covered. Here are some hilarious and surprisingly philosophical thoughts about food from around the Internet.

How did I never think of any of these?

1.) If you were illiterate, alphabet soup would just be noodles.

2.) Technically, it’s impossible to skip breakfast since the first time you eat during a day is when you ‘break your fast.’

3.) Smoothies are just cold fruit soup.

4.) Chocolate is a type of milk, but milk is also a type of chocolate.

5.) When you cut up your food before you eat it, it’s like your mouth is outsourcing the work of chewing to your hands.

6.) If a 99 pound girl eats 1 pound of nachos, she is 1% nacho.

7.) If I touch my phone in the right places a pizza will show up at my front door.

8.) Beef jerky is like a meat raisin.

9.) If you turn a taco sideways it’s just a sandwich.

10.) Soup is just food flavored tea.

11.) When you toast bread, you get toast. But when you toast french bread, you don’t get french toast.

12.) Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2,000 of something.

13.) Everything is or isn’t ice cream.

14.) A lot of people probably died before we figured out which foods we can and cannot eat.

15.) A spoon is a small bowl on a stick used to eat from a larger bowl.

16.) Menus should include prep times so you can order based on how much time you have to eat.

17.) Fettuccini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

18.) We eat pizza from the inside out.

19.) Toasters are like tanning beds for bread.

20.) When you go food shopping you’re buying supplies for this week’s poops.

21.) Everything we eat is processed sunshine.

Pretty incredible, right? Most of my thoughts about food pretty much just come down to “can I have more of it?” so this was a welcome change. Maybe in addition to praying at the dinner table we should read some of these quotes from these brave food philosophers.