1. Expectation: Crossing the threshold like in the movies.

2. Reality: Drunkenly forgetting any traditions and stumbling through the doors in a post-wedding daze.

3. Expectation: First magical conversation alone in the room.

4. Reality: Slurring mess about either love or hunger from not eating — impossible to tell which.

5. This is when 40% of couples will pass out.

6. Expectation: Making love immediately.

7. Reality: Ordering pizza immediately.

8. Expectation: Getting undressed.

9. Reality: The event of getting undressed.

10. Expectation: Consummating with ease.

11. Reality: Powering through drunkenness and pizza bloat to make it happen.

12. This is when the remaining 50% of couples will give up and pass out.

13. Expectation: Orgasming (only 10% of couples will make it this far).

14. Reality: Orgasming with some extra effort.

15. Expectation: Falling asleep in each other’s arms after one of the best days of your life.

16. Reality: Drunkenly passing out in each other’s arms after one of the best days of your life.