Kim Jong Un Executes Airport Architect Because He Didn’t Like The Way It Looked

Has it ever struck you that the building you’re in is very badly designed? There’s nothing actually wrong with the actual craftsmanship but the way it’s designed is simply abhorrent. This happened to me in Ikea Croydon. I think it’s the way that you’re herded around in one direction such that if you happen to have forgotten something, you then have to swim upstream – against the current of automatons. And then of course the only exit is via the warehouse, to which you slowly descend on a travellator with the rest of the consumers – like cattle off to the abattoir.

Needless to say, I don’t think Kim Jong Un would approve of this design. And when Kim Jong Un doesn’t approve of something, has an tendency to get all ‘killy’. Like telling someone a meal they’ve made is shit but then wolfing it down anyway (something I imagine he’s no stranger to) Kim Jong Un executed the chief architect of Pyongyang’s new airport but subsequently went on a five-day-long, all-smiles publicity tour around the same airport.

The state-run Korean Central News Agency released a 30-photo reel of King Jong Un strolling around the airport with his wife and entourage. However, they failed to mention Ma Won Chun, who designed the airport and had been the country’s director of the Designing Department of the National Defence Commission.

Ma Won Chun went missing last year, during one of Kim Jong Un’s sword-wielding spring cleaning sessions. And when people began to wonder where the heck he’d got to, Kim released this statement:

“Defects were manifested in the last phase of the construction of the Terminal 2 because the designers failed to bear in mind the party’s idea of architectural beauty that is the life and soul and core in architecture to preserve the character and national identity.

It is necessary to finish the construction of the terminal to be an icon of [North] Korea, the face of the country and the gateway to Pyongyang.”

While this may have been an interesting brief to work to, it’s rather subjective considering that you’re likely to go missing if your boss doesn’t like the work. Clearly this Jongy fat man is best not to piss off. He also gets rather annoyed if he thinks your not concentrating. He had this man killed for falling asleep.