21 Things That Happen When You Don’t Eat Meat
1. You will get overwhelmed at a vegetarian restaurant because you can order ANYTHING from the menu.
2. Someone will be confused about why you can’t just remove the pepperonis from the pepperoni pizza.
3. You’ll eat your weight in hummus.
4. The server will enthusiastically explain the restaurant’s specials (which include filet mignon and pork chops), and you’ll have to smile politely the whole time.
5. Jokes about “rabbit food.”
6. People will constantly tell you how they could “NEVER stop eating bacon.”
7. You will get paranoid about your roommate using your pans to cook meat.
8. You will develop laser-sharp vision for identifying meat in buffet salads and sandwiches.
9. Someone will apologize for eating meat in your presence.
10. Everyone will tell you about that time they stopped eating meat for “like six months.”
11. You will eat this at every steakhouse:
12. You develop fervent preferences for store-bought veggie burger brands.
13. You will be secretly ashamed of how much you look forward to French fries.
food-gifs.com
food-gifs.com
14. You will have to decline three-quarters of hors d’oeuvres.
15. You will develop an overreliance on peanut butter and jelly.
16. You will develop a really good elevator pitch for “So, why are you a vegetarian?”
17. You will realize that vegetarian sushi is both super tasty and not good at filling you up.
2 p.m.: cucumber roll
4 p.m.: ENTIRE PIZZA
18. You will become hyper-paranoid about chicken broth.
19. You will leave weddings being totally hungry.
20. You will be able to scan ingredient labels for problems in the blink of an eye.
