23 Really Weird Things You Do When You Live Alone

Human societies, at all times and places, have organised themselves around the will to live with others, not alone. From caves, to huts, to terraces, to mansions. But not any more. During the past half-century, our species has embarked on a remarkable social experiment. For the first time in our history, great numbers of people – of all ages, in all places, have begun settling down as singletons. Statistics show that one in four houses in the USA are not occupied by singletons, with the number increasing to one in two in New York City. We all act differently when people aren’t present, so here are 23 things that you do when living alone…

1. You very rarely wear more than one layer below the waist.

2. Anywhere becomes the kitchen.

3. The location of your washing pile varies depending on your mood.

4. You spend a fair bit of time singing/dancing around in your bedroom

5. All the wrong foods are consumed in Costco-worthy quantities

6. You’re quite happy watching movies alone instead of socialising.

7. You spent a lot of time wondering how long it would take people to notice your absence if you slipped in the shower or were murdered.

8. Your sink is rarely accessible…

9. Bodily functions are completed loud and proud.

10. You do everything with the door open

11. You’re not worried about being quiet late at night.

12. You watch your favourite movies with the volume turned on and then quickly realise why you never did before.

13. You lie to your friends abut why you aren’t going out tonight.

The story continues on the next page…

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