22 Pieces Of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment That Shouldn’t Exist

You can read between the lines and find something sexual in almost anything these days; from disney films to pretty much any picture with a Br*zzers logo attached (the internet makes me star this out because it’s a wimp). However, if there’s one place you feel safe from innuendos, phallic objects and general sexual invasion, it’s probably a kids playground – right? Well, apparently not.

Little did we know in years gone by that whilst we were other the park with our (mainly) pure minds free of sex and full of innocent childhood fun that we were actually riding giant penises and swinging from one phallic bar to the next. No wonder we all bloody love sex so much (just me?), it’s been ingrained from day one.

1. Now I know my A, B, C

2. Is this a flashing pig? I can’t quite get my head around why this exists

3. Why?

4. No really – who designs these things?

5. Note: If you’re riding something and it’s eyes start to bleed; stop riding

6. Definitely a playground for adults

7. The ultimate naughty corner

8. This kid hogged her swing

9. A rainbow of wrong

10. When you get changed in the dark

11. This piece should probably see a doctor

12. Mum’s loving it

13. Oh come on

14. Looks raging

15. This dinosaur was blessed by the god of love

16. That smiley face on the end isn’t fooling anyone

17. Ever seen the film Teeth?

18. You’re having twins

19. A giraffe taking a dump with a hole in the most inappropriate position

20. This whale has a doting boyfriend

21. Line up, line up, come and be elephant shit for the day

22. This has to stop

I don’t think I’ll ever look at kid’s playgrounds the same way again – the architect behind these ‘rides’ could probably do with a strong talking to. Though, I’d probably still pick any of these lot over Italy’s Ai Pioppi, which is arguably the most terrifying playground in the world.