22 Infuriating Things That Happen On Airplanes That Everyone Can Relate To

Holidays for most people are the highlight of the year. They are what we sit all day dreaming about right? Blue skies, sandy beaches and cocktails on tap. Or maybe the thought of a snow-covered chalet, hot chocolate and the slopes is more up your street. Regardless, breaks away from home are the shit!

After the often stressful occasion of getting to the airport, excitement for a week away from the desk really kicks in. However, for me there is always one obstacle I have to scale before the real fun can begin – airplanes. Whether they be long haul or short haul, jumbo jets or small island hoppers, there are always reoccurring aspects of plane journeys that really do my head in.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not a bad flyer. Strangely I quite like turbulence it keeps me on the edge of my seat, literally. What really makes my blood boil are the little things that airlines do to try and deflate your holiday high and the people you come across. Call me cynical but I just can’t help it.

Not sure what I’m talking about? See if you can relate to any of these plane irritations that really get my blood boiling.

1. Air stewards seats

How comes the air stewards sit next to the exit? Talk about selfish.

2. The trolley

Nothing is more frustrating than wanting to go to the toilet when air stewards are serving drinks down the isle refusing to move so you can’t get past. Except maybe when you are trying to get back.

3. The toilet

Shared toilets are pretty grim at the best of times. This is never helped by certain people who feel the need to unleash their bowels on the whole cabin with no way of escape. On a British Airways flight from there was a toilet incident so bad that the plane had to divert landing back to Britain because a poo smelt so bad.

4. The safety demonstration

OK, we know they have to do it but it is so bloody boring. I am a firm believer that variety is the spice. A suggestion to bear in mind Richard – what about making it into a dance or a rap to keep your passengers entertained?

5. Wearing heels

Have air stewardesses not read the safety manual that they preach? YOU’RE GOING TO TEAR THE SLIDE!

6. First Class passengers

You could be the loveliest person in the world, but if I have to walk past you sipping on your champagne in your bed in the sky to get to cattle class at the rear, I instantly dislike you. Sorry, jealousy is a cruel thing.

7. Shoeless People

This seems to be becoming forever more popular in recent years. Do people think they are on the beach already?

8. The food

The marmite of the sky, you either love it or you hate it, and don’t even think about food if it is not included. Unless you want to pay 10 for a packet of Pringles that must have shrunk with the altitude because you never seen a tube so small.

9. The chair recliners

It is suitably fine for you to whack your chair back, but as soon as the person in front does it’s like Armageddon.

10. The chair hitters

These people are often children so you can tolerate the odd knee in the back or bop on the elbow here and there. However, as the flight draws on and you feel like you are experiencing a repetitive beating in your lower back the anger grows.

11. The sleepers

I’m pretty certain airlines pump caffeine into their air systems because for many flyers it is virtually impossible to catch a few winks. No matter how much you want to sleep your body will not let you. The only thing more infuriating than not being able to sleep is the person next to you who has been snoring away for the past four hours.

12. Stag/hen parties

Unless you are part of said party these can be the worst groups of people to be sharing a confined space with.

13. Criers

These are more often than not babies, first time flyers or possibly a member of the above who can’t handle the mixture of free booze and altitude. Some people argue that todays parenting techniques are not strict enough and the younger generations display of discipline is to show for it. These are 6 parenting techniques that you wouldn’t get away with in 2015.

14. The air con

I am sure there is a rule in airplane teaching manuals that states “airlines must create Baltic conditions in cabins to freeze their passengers”.

15. The dilly-dallies

These are the people that absolutely thrive off standing in the aisle when you first get on to the plane. They take approximately three hours to put their bags away causing an absolute pile up behind them. Often sitting down without a worry in the world, with no realisation of the anger they have caused.

16. The overhead baggage stealers

There is nothing more infuriating than deciding to take a trip away with your mates with just carryon hand luggage, to get on and have no room in your overhead locker. This can go one of two ways: your case will end up in the one free space at the back of the plane 20 rows behind or worse, your bag will be put with all the other cases below ruining your entire plans for a quick getaway.

17. The toilet goers

These people will be up and down throughout your flight. Meaning you must act like a yo-yo in and out of the aisle to let them past.

18. Moths

The people who turn on their own personal light above their heads when the cabin lights have been dimmed. My mother is a moth.

19. Phone Users

These are the people who think they are above the law and will carry on using their phone until take off, and sometimes throughout, just to scare the shit out of people like me.

20. Large physical presence

Did you pay for a double seat? No, stay your side!

21. The window sitters

These people do two things: hog the window completely on landing so no one can see a thing, and hold the ultimate power of being able to shut the blind whenever they see fit.

22.


The rushers

Now these are the people that frequent planes regularly. They clearly have no time to waste as they are the first people up and out of their seat, bag in hand, waiting in the aisle before even the seatbelt sign has dinged. Rushers then stand in said place for the next 10 minutes whilst the ground staff arrange for you to vacate the plane. Rushers will never change.

See! Why do airlines and plane goers insist on delaying my holiday highs and reinforcing my holiday blues? It’s an answer I will never know but a frustration I feel is shared by many.