11 Definitive Signs You Should’ve Left The Bar An Hour Ago

We all have that one friend who just plain refuses to leave the bar or the club on a night out. They’re totally wasted and you see trouble ahead and try and lure them to the kebab shop and then homeward but they’re having none of it. If you don’t have a friend like this then you probably are that friend.

The morning after you wake with the sorest head and no recollection beyond 2am (the time you probably should’ve left at). Some times in life, it really is best to quit whilst you’re ahead. If you find yourself doing any of the 11 following things, you probably should’ve already left the bar.

1. You ordered a shot of “whatever”

You’re so drunk you can’t taste it – you don’t care. Shots, all the shots.

2. You think it’s ok to insult people as long as you wink afterwards

You know I’ve never really liked you, *wink* such banter we’re having *punch on the arm*

3. You’re pretty sure you can break up that couple

What’s yours is mine, what’s mine is mine

4. All of a sudden you’re the world’s richest person

Money aint no thang, drinks on me

5. You’ve decided everybody but you is a complete tw*t

Where did you find these people?

6. You’d probably take anyone home with you right now

7. You just missed the straw

slippery bastard

8. And this has happened

9. And you’ve started dancing like this

10. You’ve made best friends with someone in the smoking area

Who you’re DEFINITELY doing brunch with tomorrow

11. Your friends leave so you’re left talking to yourself

It happens

If any of these hit, it’s probably time for you to order a cab, alternatively, go home with that hot couple over there and have a three way. Whatever works.